The Joy of Nailing Your Neighbors

Sophomore year of college my roommate and I had problems with the girls living upstairs from us. It sounded like they were bowling. THUD… followed by that rolling sound. Then, literally, a crash. The walls and ceilings of our dorms were extremely thin, though. We could hear them opening their drawers in the morning, even giggle sometimes. But then the crashing got louder and more and more consistent. If it had been a judo team, there would have been justification. But, one day, it was too constant to stand, so my roommate and I marched upstairs with our whiffle bats to silence the problem.

We found little Vicki standing on a chair, preparing to jump. The ho-bags were doing it on purpose. Jumping off of chairs, running through their room and common area, even jumping on their beds. All to piss us off. In another time and place, my roommate and I might have thought they liked us. In this particular instance, it didn’t really matter. They were obnoxious little twits and we just wanted them to shut the hell up. So, we had sex with them and that shut them up pretty good.