An immediate TV response...

So it is true, my 24 fandom has grown leary once again. I fell completely off 7 episodes into season 3, but the brilliant 'non stop season' pulled me in to the extremely poorly written season 4. but here we are at season 5, and after the first 4 hours there hasn't been a whole lot of wow or zaz or penash or other non words the mean action. So I guess that addresses point one and two. As to point three and Jack Bauer's general Badassnessicity.... ummm... ism well, I hate to say this, because I fear he'll torture me with a knife to the eye and get the completely unreliable information torture often gives, but Bauer can be defeated. Maybe not with something as simple as a roundhouse kick, but it can be done. How do you defeat Jack Bauer you ask? I mean the man has died, not been near death, but has died on like 3 different occassions. He saved a small child last week, so not only is he strong and decisive, but he saves small children as well, so how can he be defeated, when it comes to women he is a total wuss. Every time Audrey or his wife hell even Nina had some hold on him in season 2 after she had killed his wife he became completely ineffectual. For Jack Bauer to become more of a man, he really needs to cross the unthinkable line and become.... a gay. If he were to link up with Almeida (who is now unattached) he would be free of the petty squabbles that plague heterosexual relationships and become a tandem Counter Terrorism Machine. Let's see Chuck Norris beat that.

As for Gilmore Girls I have watched only 3 or 4 episodes and I understand why this show has fans. As I do with many shows I change the title to something that makes sense to me, so this show will now be called "I Would to Have Sex with Lauren Graham". If you haven't seen it on IWLTHSWLG, there is a single parent and her daughter, and they have rapid witty banter and real life problems with boys and family and yada yada, if you like it, you like it and you are most likely a girl or a henpecked boyfriend/husband. So this show has two big gripes for me, first, they talk too god damned fast. They have to because they are trying to cram 3 pages of dialogue into 1 minute. I get TV isn't real life, and I generally enjoy banter a la Moonlighting, West Wing, Hawksian Comedies of the 40's, but this is TOOO FAST. When you talk that fast you can't convey emotion, you are just saying words. Second, pop references are fun, but they have to be at least reasonably organic. In one episode, mom made a Richard Pryor joke to her 17 year old white female daughter. Now when I was 17, I knew a little of Richard Pryor, and every girl I knew did not, and since i went to private school I only knew white girls and that was 7 years ago so they are even less likely to know it now. Point being unless mother and daughter are doing the Chevey Chase 'Dead Honkey' sketch in their spare time they NEVER WATCH AN ICONIC BLACK COMEDIAN. Ok and now I can breath again.

So Murph goaded me into a long tv tangent, with his fancy links to illustrate points that he doesn't have the dexterity of language to put forth without such gimmicks, and I promise you I will not dip to such a pale gadget. Is it because of my integrity, is it because I don't know how to do it, we may never know, but I do know this my level of content is truly difficult to match. I don't envy you Murph, the bar has been set quite high, Aaron Sorkin writing American President high. I mean while he was writing it, I couldn't write that movie that is far to good.

Hobbes